get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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