So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
