I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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