i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
