I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
