ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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