if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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