____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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