im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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