I got chris browned last night
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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