I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
