just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
