I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
