i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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