oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
