I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
