She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just googled if crying burns calories
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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