Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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