i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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