honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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