Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
