i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
