If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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