i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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