Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize