brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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