i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
