Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize