before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
