There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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