Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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