Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
