i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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