New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
