My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
