Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
