You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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