how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
