she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
