I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
