Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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