i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
