"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize