So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
