Im at strip club and am horny
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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