there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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