Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
