I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
