So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
