She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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