please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
