That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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