did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
