i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
