Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
