me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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