thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
