Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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