yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
