after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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